by
Annie Hawkins
the mouths and pens of "spiritual" guides and gurus and besotted devotees.
I think what these folks mean to say is don't waste time blaming others for your misfortunes because
blame impedes creative thought and action. And don't dream you get to decide who will burn in hell
for eternity because that's not your job.
If that's the message, I'll climb on that boat, but I'll be mindful of the undertow.
Like an undertow, the rush to "non-judgment" is insidious and pervasive. I'm sure men get caught in
the current, but more often I hear women exhorting each other to be "non-judgmental," elevating a
dubious ideal to the status of cleanliness and godliness. A woman without judgment is a good
woman, even a saintly one.
Bang! That's the sound of us shooting ourselves in our collective foot.
I'm not vying for sainthood. The road to enlightenment is not easily traveled with sore foot and
crutch, and a woman who can't or won't make a judgment is in a world of trouble.
If my date arrives at my door knee-walking drunk, I'll judge that he's unfit to operate his motor
vehicle and that it would be suicidal to ride with him. Ill also judge that our last date was our last date.
When I speak in favor of this kind of judgment to a friend, she gazes at me with the beneficence of
Mary Mother of God regarding the hopeless sinner.
"Can't you just say you have a choice?" she asks.
No. It's my judgment that leads to my choice.
In the tattered dictionary of psycho-lingo, judgment is a dirty word.
In the real dictionary it's multi-faceted, containing many shades of meaning. One definition is "the
ability to come to opinions about things; power of comparing and deciding; understanding; good
sense."
We could use a heap more understanding and good sense on our beleaguered planet.
In many societies, women are deemed unfit to express opinions. An opinionated woman is a disgrace
to her husband and a crime against God, nature and the government. I wouldn't have to walk a mile
to find some American men who agree, and I'm ever cognizant that women didn't see the inside of a
polling booth until 1920. Prior to then, the guys who made the rules decreed that we didn't have the
intelligence to "compare and decide." I won't perpetuate their faulty judgment by mindlessly touting
the bogus virtues of "non-judgment."
Judgment is kin to "discernment," meaning "keen perception or judgment; insight; acumen."
Will we renounce keen perception, too?
Another taboo word in our lexicon of pious platitudes is "critical," meaning "tending to find fault" or
"careful analysis and judgment."
Has careful analysis ever led a woman to ruin?
If our foremothers hadn't turned critical eyes on inequality, found fault with it and judged it to be a
moral and political wrong, we'd still be in the kitchen on Election Day.
The Good Girl is holding the Judge hostage. Reason, not ransom, should set Her Honor free.
Language is a double-edged sword. It can be used to educate and enlighten or subvert and subdue.
That's why it warrants our attention when we speak and when we listen. We can discern when to
reserve judgment and when to employ it with clarity and vigor. Allowing ourselves to be seduced and
subdued by mindless prattle is as dangerous as climbing in a car with a drunk man.
column "From the Hinterlands" for Steeplechase & Evening Times. She lives in Vermont with two excellent
Thoroughbreds, two wee donkeys and a fluffy white cat.
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