Quiet Mountain Essays

Copyright ©, 2005; All Rights Reserved by Author

My Voided Self
by
Suzanne Nolan

Wife.
Degradation.
Desecration.
The floor beneath your knees
as you kneel -
your support.
All others see me this way.
No me without you.
Where are you? they ask.
As if I am a shadow,
not a being.
Mrs. So and So.
Less than.
Minus sign.
Missing something.
A void.
An object, never a subject.
Less than deconstructed
because that indicates prior structure.
Dismantled.
Dismissed.
Dismembered -
from myself.

I am sucked into this
vortex of emptiness.
A post-birth abortion.
And I know,
it is better to be really nothing,
than to know I was once something
now made into nothing.

Contributor's Notes...

Ms. Nolan is one class shy of an M.A. in Creative Writing from the University of Iowa.  She has been in
Technical Writing for 21 years; enjoys writing "petfinder" animal bios, and writing grants for animal shelters
and rescues.  She is no longer "Mrs. So and So".

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